Recently I've switched my DVD rental scheme from Amazon to Lovefilm. The main difference between them is that with Amazon I would get a set number of titles a month, while with Lovefilm it is 'unlimited'. So when I saw this obscure former video nasty listed, it was an obvious addition to the rental list. And, I would venture, one for which there wasn't a great deal of competition at Lovefilm's end.
I've got a long-running interest in the video nasty and have seen the majority of the titles over the years. Though the likes of Zombie Creeping Flesh and The Beast in Heat are pretty bad films, they are always entertaining and deliver the goods in terms of nastiness.
Unhinged , however, is simply the worst piece of shit it has ever been my misfortune to sit through.
After the credits, announcing proudly that this is a Don Gronquist film, we get a dark screen and some noise for long enough to make one wonder if there's something wrong with the disc. Then our heroine, Terry, gets up and switches on the light…
Then she has a shower – a moment of completely grauitous nudity that's one of the film's few highlights and makes you think, however briefly, that it might be going somewhere after all.
Then she talks with her mother on the phone, and meets up with her friends Gloria and Nancy. They are going to a generic rock concert, prompting Gronquist to indulge in some helicopter cam shots of their car winding its way through the rural roads, a la The Shining . This goes on for an intermindable period of time, again a la The Shining, before the girls have a near miss with a truck and drive their car into a ditch.
And are killed instantly…
If only – at least it might have opened things up for a Carnival of Souls type scenario and a demonstration that low-budget horror does not need to be devoid of atmosphere or imagination…
Instead, the trio are somewhat implausibly knocked unconscious. A local handyman, Norman Bates – oops – Barnes, happens to be on the scene and somehow or other takes them all to a nearby mansion, inhabited by the domineering Mrs Penrose and her domineered daughter, Marion…
While Terry and Nancy have sustained only minor injuries, Gloria is in a worse state and cannot move. In other words, the girls are going to have to stay the night…
An interminable display of bad acting, bad direction, bad writing and worse pacing ensues as the Penroses and their guests have dinner… in what seems like real time.
Meanwhile, a mysterious heavy-breathing figure watches the diners from the dark and stormy night ™outside…
The next day Nancy and Terry share a shower – can we say gratuitous nudity again? – before the former decides to walk the two or three miles to the nearest settlement to get help. Needless to say she never gets there, being offed by an unidentifiable scythe wielder. The gore, however, is decidedly unspectacular, someone splashing the red, red krovvy from off-screen and a distinct lack of even enthusiastic but non-special effects.
Another half hour, enlivened only by some boom-in-frame shots, passes… slowly…
Finally Gloria, who had all but been forgotten about, gets a hatchet in the head and Terry belatedly discovers the truth about the Penroses with a shock ending completely out of right field.
Yes, this one is so bad that there isn't any point in even describing the DVD…
Copyright © K H Brown 2002-2005
Rating:
0.0 / 5
(0 votes)
|
3787 views
|
Previous
|
Next
|
Best prices on Unhinged
|
Print
|
Email page