The Cheerleaders
Amoroso High's football team has won nine games straight and is on course for a championship decider with Central High. Most observers attribute this success to new head coach Gannon but we soon learn that it's down to the cheerleaders' willingness to do absolutely anything for their boys…
But when one of their number falls pregnant and has to leave school, the others decide her replacement should be a girl who can be relied upon to stay pure for the remainder of the season. Enter the virginal – "I didn't think there were any left in California", Jeannie who can't believe her good fortune, nor her initiation ritual of taking a shower the boy's changing rooms…
As the day of the big game approaches, various high jinks ensue, most involving the cheerleaders getting naked and Jeannie trying, but failing, to get laid. Then the corrupt school janitor, who doubles as the local pusher and bookie (in addition to having a peephole into the girls shower) decides that Amoroso must lose. The fix is in… except he had not bargained on the cheerleaders, who exhaust the Central High team with marathon sex sessions the night before the match.
All the opposition, that is, except for Norman, the fourth string player whom no one had thought to deal with and, as luck would have it, has a thing for Jeannie. Will she take one for the team and save the day?
Presented by Jerry Gross of I Drink Your Blood and I Eat Your Skin , infamy, The Cheerleaders is a fascinating trip into the drive-ins of 30 years ago. Get some pretty young pseudonymous starlets who no-one had ever heard of – or would hear from again, outwith the occasional Playboy/b-movie/porno appearance – and get them to show T&A, hair pie (three minutes in) and indulge in some innocent softcore gyrations (six minutes in) and you had a surefire hit…
The direction, writing – both actually better than one might expect, assuming one is not expecting too much – and performances – pretty dire – didn't matter, so long as those magic exploitation ingredients were in place.
So, where have we got to now? The drive-ins are dead, as is softcore sexploitation. Aids killed the free and easy attitude – Kids anyone – and political correctness means it is now wrong to openly salivate at nubile schoolgirls in skimpy outfits. Instead we have American Pie and Bring It On – entries that titillate but fail to show what young name actresses like Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku and Tara Reid have to offer, if you get my drift, while delivering surprisingly romantic and ultimately right-on messages to their core audience…
Cheerleader at drive-thru, finishing off milkshake: "Who wants my cherry? Too late"
Other cheerleader: "Yeah, by about three years!"
Or is it 30…
Revenge of the Cheerleaders
In spite of its title, Revenge of the Cheerleaders features an entirely different cast, school and sport – basketball – than its predecessor. The plot and attractions, however, are more or less identical. This time round the cheerleaders must use their mighty tits, asses and beavers to thwart some evil property developers who intend to merge their beloved Aloha High with neighbouring rival Lincoln Vocational in order they can demolish the school and build a shopping mall.
Like it matters…
You know what to expect and the film-makers again deliver the sexploitation goods, though there are also longeurs in the forms of needless dance routines, an overlong food fight sequence and an unexciting basketball game that make this sequel less enjoyable than its predecessor.
The cast is more noteworthy this time round thanks to the presence of David Hasselhoff – who probably wishes he could excise this one from his resume – as hapless basketball player "Boner" – and Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith, who illustrates the tragic side of 70s exploitation. Giving the film-makers a surprise when she turned up for shooting pregnant, reportedly by a rock star, Smith's career never really took off despite her beauty and vivaciousness. Soon she developed a heroin habit, leading to two stretches in prison and premature death, aged 47, from hepatitis.
Also worth mentioning is the racial integration of the school, with the African-American and Asian-American members of the team playing equal roles to the more conventional blonde California girl types. (This is in sharp contrast to Bring It On with its theme of racial division.) Pure fantasy, perhaps, but welcome nonetheless, while the expansive Afros on display add an element of retro-comedy.
The Swinging Cheerleaders
Despite being directed by exploitation legend Jack Hill of Spider Baby and Switchblade Sisters fame, The Swinging Cheerleaders comes across as the least film of the trio. In contrast to the others, which are up-front and honest about their (s)exploitation nature, you get the impression that this one wants to "say something" as well, the story opening with student journalist Kate working her way into the Mesa College cheerleading squad in order to write an exposé of the jocks and their presumedly air-headed counterparts.
Coupled with a more restrained approach to female nudity and some comparatively serious/heavy material – campus cops brutalise a student after planting a joint on him, while for balance a student radical date-rapes Rainbeaux Smith's virginal cheerleader – the whole has a schizoid feel that makes it less fun.
Anyway, as you would probably have guessed Kate uncovers a plot: The Dean, Coach and one of the Professors are running a spread betting scam that requires Mesa to lose its final game of the season, putting pressure on the sports scholarship quarterback, all-round nice guy and boyfriend of the Dean's cheerleading daughter to comply…
Overall, then, two and a bit slices of trashy fun from a more innocent age, replete with bad styles but best appreciated in the spirit in which they were originally intended. (Is a Gadamerian hermeneutic approach compatible with 70s softcore sexploitation?)
The Cheerleaders Collection is available on R1 DVD from Anchor Bay.
In terms of the A/V material, it has to be borne in mind that these are 30-year-old low-budget exploitation films and, as such, are never going to offer spectacular quality. The Cheerleaders and The Swinging Cheerleaders look better than Revenge of the Cheerleaders, which is preceded by a disclaimer/apology, but one can't really complain.
Interestingly, though all three films are in their original 1.85:1 aspect ratios, there have been some (External) comments that, at least in the case of The Cheerleaders, pan and scan might be preferable.
In terms of extras, each disc includes a feature length commentary and trailers, radio and TV spots.
Of the commentaries that on The Cheerleaders, with director Paul Glickler and writer "Ace Baandige" – it was supposed to be Ace Badinage but someone didn't get the wordplay – is probably the most enjoyable, with some worthwhile information on the making of the film, while the one on Revenge of the Cheerleaders, featuring two ex-Cheerleaders with no connection to the film whatsoever, is largely a waste of time. The Swinging Cheerleaders commentary, though including Jack Hill in conversation with the "Rockabilly Rasputin" Johnny Legend, fails to deliver what one might have hoped for.
The Cheerleaders disc also includes a stills gallery, featuring some cheesecake photos of the girls alongside the more usual production and advertising images, while the Revenge disc has an eight minute behind the scenes featurette with some more of David Hasselhoff's dance moves if you really want to see them.
(External) Someone has the wrong name…
Copyright © K H Brown 2002-2005
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